Friday, June 10, 2016

California Persimmon Progress: June

Like I mentioned in the Grapefruit post, Persimmon trees bear fruit in the autumn, and as it just so happens at Foundry Academy, the plant tours aren't only industrial in nature.  We actually have an agricultural college with Oranges, Squash, Grapefruits, Grapes, Avocados, Kale, Yellow Watermelons, and just about anything else you can grow here (which is pretty much everything). AND there's a farm store where you can buy our produce and support the program. With that being said, let's check out our friend Mr. Fuyu (which I'm pretty sure is Sebulba's final line in Star Wars Episode 1 because he has an orange colored pod racer)
Stay squashy my friends
 Foundry Academy: "The Place To Be For A Quality Metal Casting Education"

I got so much love for Foundry Academy now that I've been here a whole three quarters. It's given me enough time to explore all the awesome stuff around campus and illuminate the possibilities! For instance, this morning I found a secret Utopian city!

I like that Sine wave action!
Birdie on top of a massive Solar panel.
Looks like you can actually grow Apples in Southern California after all! We so seldom get an opportunity in this area to taste fresh apples, probably in the same respect New Yorkers don't get fresh Grapefruits. This place is exactly how I imagined my Utopian city with lots of trees, secret passegeways, shortcuts, Ducks, Rabbits, free fruit, and a performance stage Amphitheater.
I've been told we shouldn't be growing Bananas here because of the drought, but looks like that's also not true!
This has got to be the best kept secret of all Foundry Academy. As if that wasn't good enough, the location is even more amazing. The city is actually built on top of a decommissioned landfill!!!!!!!  As if anything could scream "SCRAP ATTACK HOME BASE" any louder!!!  This presented me with a very comforting and fantastic revelation: it looks like throwing stuff in the trash isn't as bad as we thought, because once The Petroleum Apocylapyse happens, we'll be living in cities like this which are entirely self-sufficient and feast on the wastes of capitalism just like I've always dreamed of!!! Looks like that whole planned obsolescence thing was really a conspiracy to get all the best natural resources from around the world into America so we could be the bastion of sustainability, and not to mention living in harmony amongst nature for the first time since the last of the Golden Ages!!!

The even more surprising part is that in the entire 20 years its existed, only 59 people have graduated from this program, which is retardedly conspicuous considering the massive student population of Foundry Academy. I suspect that its because "Lyle Center For Regenerative Studies" sounds like some weird experimental medical program for regrowing limbs, which is what I thought it was at first. But if you consider the Earth as a living being, that could also be true.  WE ARE SUCCESSFULLY DEFRAGGING THE EARTH'S HARD DRIVE.

I always wondered why they built the landfills on the hillsides, and now I know why. Not only is it so we don't accidentally poison our underground water aquifers, but also for the Arkiteks of the Future who are going to be enjoying living there with the scenic views and also as a post-apocylaptic Road Warrior style defense mechanism for potential intruders and BDSM advocates.

This is the story of my life my friends, the search for the most sustainable practices and immortality through recycling and evolution.  I AM very happy to share it with you at this moment in history.

Moving along:
I found this Tomato growing on the side of the road (incidentally next to the Red Cross) even amongst the dry appearance of the terrain. The drought is really just the doubt that people have that we can continue to exist as a species even after the depletion of our ancient energy sources which were intended to help us find our way to the next Golden Age. Once the people begin believing it will rain in Califonia, it will. For 40 days and 40 nights. In July. It would also be a wise decision to banish Flo-Rida from our imported water supplies in the meantime, it seems a lot of people don't care for his music. Not to mention he was responsible for the economic recession in 2007.
"Who even speak about a drought?" - E40
("Tell Me When To Go" is actually a song about pissing. Or at any rate, letting the water flow.)
GUESS WHO'S BACK!!!! The one, the only: Squashy Grapefruit!  Here portraying the Chiquita Lady.  The hat was actually a miniature Frisbee I got to make in a plastics injection molding laboratory.  Injection molding is pretty cool, but you know me, I'm Diecaster D. and I prefer metal.  (Though a metal Frisbee does sound pretty deadly.)  I thought it made him look like an old Jazz musician.
Squashy Grapefruit is available for product placement opportunities for the low low price of $6000 Billion dollars.
This is the same Grapefruit before I drew the face on it.  It looks like half of the face was already included with my purchase! I saw this in the same light as those people and their pieces of toast or towels with the image of Jesus Christ magically imprinted on them.
It's just one of those days that makes you never wanna die.  Squashy chillin' on the hills above Foundry Academy.
At the Foundry Academy Rose Garden. Both Squashy and I can agree on at least one thing, yellow roses smell the best!
Here we see Squashy in an Interstella 5555 mood after I restocked my aresonal of markers. That blue sharpie looks nice!
Squashy after squashing.  The name "Squashy" refers both to the naturally flattened looking fruits, but also the massaging action which squashes up all the complex sugars to make Grapefruit taste sweeter and less sour. That, and it shows that you love your Grapefruit.
What's this? A special guest appearance from Squashy Tangello Angellino? A Perfect way to end the story! Stay tuned for more Squashy Adventures!  Exclusively syndicated on for your viewing pleasure.

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